


When I close my eyes and try to sleep I fall apart, I find it hard to breathe

by kaleidoscopeminds



Series: Sad Luke [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, kind of, more luke being Really Sad and ashton being There
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26379739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidoscopeminds/pseuds/kaleidoscopeminds
Summary: Luke’s having one of those nights where he can’t seem to grasp himself, like he’s constantly tripping and catching himself, ears ringing and heart in mouth.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin
Series: Sad Luke [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1917142
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	When I close my eyes and try to sleep I fall apart, I find it hard to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Posted for the prompt "Please don't cry" from the lovely bella

Luke’s having one of those nights where he can’t seem to grasp himself, like he’s constantly tripping and catching himself, ears ringing and heart in mouth. 

He’s craving the feeling of being seen, of being noticed, of being part of someone else’s life to know that he’s not disappearing. This isn’t unfamiliar to him but is normally quietened by endless nights on stage, its drowned out quite literally by screams of love and the crash of his band, but they haven’t been out touring in months and someone’s turned the volume back up. These feelings always seem to manifest themselves at three in the morning, when he’s not sure if he’s been in an uneasy sleep or has just been staring at his own wall, hours slipping through his fingers and rolling sickeningly away in increasingly desperate thoughts, loneliness pooling in his stomach and threatening to claw its way out of his mouth. He sighs and scrapes his hands through his hair, getting up and pulling on a t-shirt. He slips out of Ashton’s guest room like the ghost that he’s so fucking afraid of becoming, a version of himself that’s transparent, blurring and fading out on the edges.

He makes his way to Ashton’s room and opens the door, sliding inside and quietly getting into the side of the bed next to Ashton. He feels Ashton stirring at the movement of the mattress and Luke feels bad about waking Ashton up like this, but he knows he should feel worse. He feels rather than sees Ashton’s arm extend, blindly reaching into the space next to him before he secures his hand around Luke’s upper arm and drags him towards him.

“Hey,” he murmurs, voice scratchy and sweetly thick with sleep.

“Hi,” Luke whispers back, tucking himself into Ashton’s side, legs curling up underneath him and pressing into Ashton’s legs until he moves them enough for Luke to be able to stuff his feet underneath them.

“What’s going on?” Ashton says, voice quiet in the still of the dark room.

“Dunno.” Luke presses his face into Ashton’s shoulder and exhales shakily, something about having as many anchor points to Ashton as possible making his emotions seep out in twitching hands and uneven breaths.

“Do you wanna talk or just sleep?” Ashton asks, extracting his arm to curl it around Luke’s shoulders, pulling him into his chest and lightly rubbing between his shoulder blades. 

“Can’t sleep,” Luke responds quietly.

“So talk then.” Luke hears the smile in Ashton’s voice as he strokes Luke’s back gently.

“Can’t do that either,” Luke huffs out, burrowing his face into Ashton’s chest, as if he can force all the feelings in his head into Ashton, and Ashton will absorb and diffuse them for him like he always does. He feels a sob creep up his throat with how much he wants and needs Ashton, how much this man does for him without even mentioning the way that Luke is falling apart, ripping down his own seams. Ashton just quietly sits and gives Luke his arm and chest and stitches him back up. 

“Please don’t cry,” Ashton says quietly. 

“Okay,” Luke whispers into the dark, and he stops, because it’s the least he can do. For Ashton. 

Ashton skates his hand over Luke’s cheekbone and tangles his fingers in the hair at the base of his skull, gripping slightly. His other hand smooths around Luke’s hip, under his t-shirt and up to his chest, and presses his fingers down one by one, rhythmically pushing on his heart. Luke knows what he’s doing, it’s that slight pressure, that slight push to remind him that he’s here. Here with Ashton. Push and press. Push and press and Ashton.

**Author's Note:**

> come and talk to me on [tumblr](kaleidoscopeminds.tumblr.com)


End file.
